Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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