$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He did a backflip because drugs
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
