When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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