My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
