I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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