I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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