Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
