it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
