I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
