Where did you get a picture of my penis
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I skipped work to stalk him.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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