Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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