So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
