I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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