fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
