from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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