If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
