i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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