i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
