so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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