Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
