I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
porn star boner night. come get it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
