i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
