You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
