Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
