Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
