Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
