just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
