what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
