so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
