everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Help. Why am I so naked?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
