At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
