Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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