Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
