I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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