party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
then he tried to convert me to islam
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
