I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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