I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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