Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
