apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
