she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Randomize
