Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
