just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
There's even glitter on my cock...
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