what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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