that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize