How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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