He is such a slut. More and more my type.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
