All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wish i was in the wii world.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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