I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize