So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just invented taco cereal.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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