ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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