Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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