Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
