I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
