She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
