Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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