So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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