He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
