apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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