return my video game
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
