can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
