i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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