I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
please come you make the beer taste better
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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