Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
