So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
