So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
