Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
