I hate all girls vehemently.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
