i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
