38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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