In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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